Thursday, December 11, 2008

Shitty Opera Last Night, Corpse this Morning!

I went to the Opera last night. People, if you are ever offered the chance to hear a mezzo soprano by the name of Angela Gheorghiu, don't take it. And tell the person that's offering it to you to go fuck themselves because this bitch sings about as well as a cat in heat. I couldn't believe how bad she sucked. And she got so much hype that it was doubly disappointing. Her boyfriend sang with her, and apparently everyone at the Opera house made fun of him because supposedly he only got to perform with her because he's banging her, but in reality he actually ended up being a much stronger singer than her. Still, it was nice to go to the Opera and I had a good time anyway, because at least the conductor was amazing.

Also I got to see lots of creatures that I like to call "cheap trophy wives with no class, that go to the opera to get some, because they think that that's how you get it." They basically look like this:


And are wearing this outfit:
Classy!
And then this morning, I had the hardest time getting up. It was all dark and shit outside, plus Crazy doesn't sleep at night and I end up waking up several times throughout the night because she's scurrying around the apartment. So I'm basically half asleep on my morning commute, listening to the ipod, just walking down Moscovsky Prospect when, wait a minute, what's this? A fucking corpse! Dude's lying there, with a garbage bag over his face in front of a store. Judging by what could be seen of his outfit, he was very homeless. There are a few people (alchies) standing around. I take out one of my earphones and ask the people if he's alive. They eagerly shake their heads back and forth. I put my earphone back in and get on my way to work because I'm running late. There was no ambulance or anything. Just these three "people" standing around (i.e. probably hoping to steal his boots). When I showed up to work, I confirmed with Ksusha the secretary that he really was dead, and was just as dead about an hour ago when she walked past him. So dude's been lying there for at least an hour and no one has called the authorities! Welcome to Russian winter everybody. Apparently homeless drunken deadmen are a fairly common occurence here in the wintertime, so let's all get ready for me seeing some more dead bodies on my way to work, during the next few months. Ah, my very first Russian homeless man corpse. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about being here.

3 comments:

anna said...

Where did you get the photos? And is that your own diagram?

I'm surprised it's your first corpse, you've been there for a while, where have you been looking?

Plusha said...

That was my first corpse on the street. It hasn't been that cold here up to that day. And any way, Yulia said that dead hobos aren't as common as they used to be.

Plusha said...

Oh, and those pics are from a russian mail order bride catalogue, and the diagram I just found on google images. I just put in something like "vinyl slut outfit" and that came out.