Dear friends,I know it's been a while since I've last written. I have no excuse other than that I went native for a little while there, and was still sick, and well, needed time to recuperate and let the blood flow back to my brain.
All I can say is that this country is the ultimate perverter. It's very difficult to live here and maintain ones equilibrium. Last Saturday would be a perfect example. I swear to god, I think Russia is Satan right now.
I went to do my laundry at this New Zealander's hostel, which is conveniently right up the street from my building. Sounds pretty innocent, no? NO!
It started with the yet again completely innocent question of whether I'd like to have a beer. I thought "why the fuck not?" Hell, one won't kill me.
People, before you start judging my alcoholic ass, it's impossible, I repeat, impossible, not to drink here at all. It's too cold and nasty and gross and honestly, I don't need to make excuses here. It's not like I was forced into quitting drinking by an intervention. It was my choice to stop, and it was my choice to start again. A little. A little light drinking. So anyway, then this ridiculousness sprang up around me:
You've all seen these pics on Facebook already, but I figured I'd post them again just so that you can all see what I'm surrounded by, and imagine trying not to drink around this. Again, I just went there to do my goddamn laundry. Long story short, or as they used to say on Seinfeld, "yada yada yada" I didn't leave that place until about 3 p.m. the next day. There was insane debauchery perpetrated by all and tons of alcohol imbibed. I needed a week to reflect on how my ass managed to fall off the wagon so hard and bruise said ass on every bottle of beer on the way down. (I never even drank beer before because that slush is fattening. But since I lost all this mad weight here, I figured, why not beer?)
So I guess I'm going for round 2 of sobriety. A week sober everybody. I can only hope that it lasts as long as it did the last time I made the resolution to stop drinking. Worst part is, it's probably the most fun I've had in this country since I got here. Shit!!!
I realize that this isn't really a funny post. It's more of a confession and a record for posterity's sake. Oh, and to drive the point home that I really need to slow my roll with the drinking again, I immediately got sick again. Straight away I got hit with some bronchitis.
Shit, at least I got all of my laundry done...
4 comments:
I've heard of other people doing it too... but I don't really get it, why would one stop drinking?
Well I guess if your liver is on the verge of outright murderous rebellion against the rest of you, that would be a good reason... But outside of that...?
Eh, Mike, well, it's a general issue of control. Once everything is out of control and you're making perilous mistakes left and right and your kidneys Mike, your kidneys start making unhappy screeches in your direction, then it might be time to quit drinking. Also, dude, have you ever seen an older alcoholic lady? It's not a pretty picture. Their faces are always haggard and they fall down the stairs and break their leg and shit all the time. I just though that it might be nice to not turn into that.
There are a lot of older female alcoholics here, so I've got examples of that shit staring me in the face on a daily basis. I'm going to use that as inspiration to temper the drinking.
My plan is to pinpoint the exact day when one goes from "mysterious / glamorous / hardcore" to "old / repulsive / sad"
and quit everything cold turkey on that day!
Hahaha. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I pinpointed that shit to this one day about 2 years ago when I got trashed at a baby shower that I threw for a friend. It was a freaking baby shower and I very distinctly remember telling myself in the beginning of the evening that it's inappropriate for me to get drunk. And then bam, 4 hours later, I'm leaning against the wall of my bedroom trying to figure out what the hell happened and why am I so drunk. More importantly, why am I the only one drunk. It was S-A-D. So a few months later I quit.
Also Mike, don't make me tell you about the delights of alcohol withdrawal syndrome. That shit is not fun, and that's when you truly realize that you maybe had a little bit of a problem with the drink.
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