Dear friends,I hope that everything is going fabulously over there in the civilized world of America. Here, things have taken a rather depressing turn for me.
So yesterday was the first official day of Spring. Yay Spring! I've officially weathered out a full winter in this frozen hellhole. But what does this mean for me? Motherfucking nothing! That's what...
It's still cold and covered in ice. There's still no sunshine.
And last night, there was, once again, no goddamn internet. And why was there no internet you may ask yourself? Because the one lonely dude (rip-off con-artist motherfucker) that provides me with this valuable service, neglected to tell me the last time that I paid him for it, that I also owe him an extra 900 rubles. Now, 900 rubles may not seem like a lot. It's actually nothing when translated into dollars. But you know when it is a lot? When it's the end of the month, you've only got 1,500 rubles to your name because your loving mother decided to borrow 2 grand from you yesterday, and payday ain't for another 2 weeks. That's when 900 rubles is a whole lot of money. I could have lived on that shit for a week. This asshole just took cigarettes and food out of my mouth. And all because he decided to not tell me about this earlier, back when I actually had money. I hate him. And on top of all this, to pay for the internet, I had to go to this special ATM terminal type machine that accepts payments.
Now, these machines are all over the city, but only some of them accept payment for some of the companies. And yes, con-artist was nice enough to let me look at a listing of the ATM terminals that accept payments for my particular internet, online. But I'm not so fucking street savvy here to actually know where terminal 171 on Vladimirsky house # 17 is located. So I keep calling this guy on the phone all morning, while wondering around the frozen tundra, looking for a usable terminal. Finally, we have this conversation:
me: Hello, it's me again. Look, I'm at Vladimirsky house "17, but I don't see this terminal anywhere. Could you be a bit more specific as to where it's located exactly? Is it in a store?
con-artist: Probably...
me: Well, do you know what store it's in?
con-artist: No, just em, just look around for it.
me: Guy, I'm from another country and your list is very complicated. This is very difficult for me. Can't you help me out?
con-artist: Yes, well, it's very difficult for all of us right now.
me: (totally about to loose my shit on this guy) Where are you right now? Why don't I just come over to where you are and pay you in cash?
con-artist: (fully understanding that if I find out where he's located, unlike the terminal, I'm going to come over and punch him in the face) Ah, no no. I only accept payments through the terminal. Don't come over here.
Fucker!!!
Finally, completely by accident I found the right terminal. I'm still going to find out where this guy's office is and maybe he'll find a burning bag of shit on his doorstep or something. I'm not above that kind of thing after living here for 4 months.
On top of all this, I think that all of the morning wandering around the tundra has made me catch cold. Again, I hate this place and don't recommend that anyone come here without a whole assload of dollars, a doberman, a fur coat, and a fucking gun. (The gun is just to shoot into the air when you get frustrated by all the amenities here).
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