DAY 2, 3, 4

Ok, so I spent these three days at my father's house getting to know my half brother and sister. Just some basic impressions:

--Children are really cute, especially twins, right up until they have to get up to go to school and it's still dark outside. Then they are cranky little bitches and cry a lot and my god I wish I wasn't forced to share a room with my seven year old sister.

--Cats are really cute, especially fluffy white ones, right up until they spend half the night scratching at your bedroom door, then finally make it in to the room, and then proceed to first knock shit over, second, fall off of shit with really loud bangs, and lastly, eat your exposed feet. It hurt, Snezshok you bastard! We're now officially enemies.

--Spending three days with your relatives in what is the equivalent of far Rockaway, Queens, is really fucking boring. I could hear the paint peel.

--I suspect that my father and his wife think that they've found themselves a free babysitter, but they're wrong because I ain't feeding nobody, no matter how hungry those kids get.

--My father threw some insane amount of money at me the moment that I got to his house. Yes, my love can be bought. Totally. So maybe I will babysit from time to time.

--After a few conversations with my father, I began hyperventilating about being in Russia. Thank you Russian parents for knowing exactly when we're vulnerable and helping us out there.

Thank god I got out of there today, finally.