Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Plusha's No Good, Very Bad, Terrible Day (or How they Roll with Firing People in This Country)

DISCLAIMER:
IF SOMEONE READS THIS AND KNOWS ANYONE THAT KNOWS MY GRANDFATHER, PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND NOT TELL ANYONE THAT MIGHT TELL HIM. I DON'T WANT THIS INFORMATION GETTING TO HIM BECAUSE HE'LL JUST WORRY FOR NO REASON. THANKS!

Alright, so I had a "good" run here so far. Russia's been great. I've had all the no heat, no electricity, no internet, no place of my own, no normal-sized bathrooms, corpses on the streets floating among the fjords, batshit crazy foreigners, alcoholic peer-pressure, sinusitis, draft-caused lower back pain, killer-cats, negative temperature fun that is appropriate for a country of this caliber.
But what I haven't had was no job and no money. What I had yet to experience was being fired in Russia. Until a few days ago that is. Ok, to be fair, I haven't been technically fired yet, but I'm very close. After the 30th of December, we had that lovely winter vacation which lasted all the way until the 11th of January. This was awesome. I got to move into my new apartment and get all the relaxation that I had needed. And then came the first day of work. Which by the way fell on a Sunday. Yes, they gave us a vacation, but then they made us come in on a Sunday. This in itself was slightly irritating. So here's how my Sunday at work went:

I get to work slightly pissed off because it's Sunday and everyone else got to sleep in.
I notice that everyone is getting called into bosslady's office one by one for private meetings. I haven't been called yet, so I'm starting to get a little nervous because word around the office is that heads are rolling. I bend over to pick something up and hear that terrifying riiiip sound. My pants have ripped into a giant hole, in the CROTCH area. Nice! But I'm a good humored sort, so I just pull down my sweater and resolve to wear my coat for the rest of the day.

Next thing I know I'm sitting in bosslady's office and listening to something about how given the current economic crisis they can't possibly pay me the agreed upon salary and are GOING TO PAY ME LESS. And they can't tell me yet how much less. I'm interrogated about how much rent I'm paying for my apartment, and bosslady and I both agree that I won't be able to survive on 30,000 rubles a month. The original salary was 42,000. Bosslady makes some sort of suggestion that maybe I can work one less day for them, and get another job on the side because everyone is getting second jobs. Screw this! No! I'm not having two jobs! I've got a better idea. How about I quit your stupid-ass publishing house job and get a whole other job. Not on the side, just in general, another job. On top of all this, she explains to me that since some people are actually getting fired, she's going to need me to pitch in and take over some of their responsibilites. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at this point. This crazy wombat is telling me that she's going to pay me less and wants me to start working more? What? Damn...
This is what they do here instead of firing people. They just start paying them enough money to starve on. But the whole obnoxiousness of the fact that they expect you to start working more on top of the salary cut is just. completely. mind. blowing.
Later on in the day, it turns out that it's old new year. I love Russia. These are the only people in the world that instead of picking one New Years Eve, when the calendars were changed, decided to hold onto both of them and have two. Greedy bastards. And we all know why, right? It's so that they can have yet another reason to drink. At work.
So yes, after all the firings and salary reductions, we all HAD to collect in the kitchen and listen to depressing toasts about hopefully things being better in the new year, and pretend like we're not all shitting our collective pants about the fact that some of us just got fired while others of us have just been demoted. I don't think I can look at these people anymore.

Later yet, I got home, with ripped pants and now a considerably smaller salary, and called my new Irish friend. I thought it might be wise to discuss my dilemma with some expats. When I went to meet him, I finally successfully slipped on a patch of ice (first time in Russia so far folks, I'd say that's pretty good), and fell into an ice cold puddle, soaking my coat and ass. I'm going to let that sink in here for a minute. Picture freezing cold temperature on top of wetness.

Later in the evening when we came out of the bar, it was raining ice. Which funnily enough reminded me that I'd forgotten my hat. The fact that I'm not lying somewhere coughing and sneezing my lungs out is a Christmas miracle. Eventually I made it back home and went to sleep feeling deceived and abused by this country.

So this was my no good, very bad, terrible day.

Worst part of all this is that I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to get a job at a lawfirm here since they're the most likely to hire me and have an acceptable salary. I love the irony of it.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh no not a law firm! Hope you have better luck in the job market then people are having here in the USofA. Thought of you today, it's 20F degrees here in NYC, and they say it will get colder in the next few day's. And with that stinken Canandian cold front we will have snow too! keep warm.
хорошо мимо дорогой друг (hope I got that right!)
Cathy

Plusha said...

Aw, thanks for the comment Cathy. Non of my other friends ever leave comments. I hope that I have better luck too. But I'm a bit unique here given my experience and education, so hopefully that will help. 20 degrees is nothing. It was -10 here a few weeks ago.
As far as what you said in Russian, it can loosely be translated as good past road friend. It's interesting. :)
Ok, well, I hope that everything is going well for you at least. Keep that chin up!

Anonim said...

any luck with finding a new job?

Plusha said...

Haven't starting looking yet. Shit happens slowly in this country. I'm going to start next week. Well, I have sniffed about a bit, but I still need to update my resume, so after I do that, I can start sending it out and really getting serious about the whole thing. Thanks for asking though. :)

Mike said...

I found your blog in a moment of random time-killing on facebook. I think we might have a friend of a friend of a friend in common, but I don't really remember the details.

Anyway, you're a really great writer, please keep it up! I'm also of the 20something-russian-jew-late80s-nyc-immigrant persuasion, and I've gone back to Russia for a few weeks just recently. As such, all I can say is, wow you've got some serious stones to do what you're doing.

Plusha said...

Mike, thanks very much for the compliment on the writing, and leaving a comment in general. I hate most of my friends because those assholes refuse to leave comments. As a result, I am left with the feeling that no one is reading this thing. So thanks!
How did you find my blog on Facebook? I stopped posting the link a long time ago. I'm trying to be slightly incognito about it, so that the wrong people don't read it.
Oh, and thank you for the stones observation. I actually have no stones at all, I mean, I'm in the negative when it comes to stones. I figured if I came here, I'd have no choice but to grow some.

Anonim said...

I read your blog and there were no posts in 10 days!!! You really gotta post more. I think the whole moving to St. Petersburg is pretty incredible (I'd never be able to do it) and I want to know how you're dealing with it all. Come on, post more - even if you think it's boring. It's all fascinating to us...

Plusha said...

Ok, deary, you got it. New post just went up. I actually wrote it a few days ago, but then decided that I need to edit out a bunch of stuff. It was a bit too revealing in it's original form. And from now on, I promise to post even if I've got nothing interesting to report. :)