So I finally found something new to write about.
The other day I had this conversation with one of my adult Russian students (word for word transcription, nothing added or omitted):
Me: So, would anyone here ever eat a dog? I mean, dogmeat? I mean, if you were hungry enough.
Student1: No, I never will eat a dog. Why would I eat a dog? No.
Student2: Yes, I ate this once.
Me: Excuse me? You ah, you ate a dog once?
Student2: Yes, when I was in army.
(me and Student1 both stare at each other and at Student2 while blinking rapidly with our eyes).
Me: so em, why did you do this? You didn't have any other food in the army?
Student2: Yes! No food. I was verry hungrry. We all eat dog in the army.
Me: wow... (trying not to look surprised. I'm not squimish, just wasn't expecting that)
Me: Okay, next question on my "Would you ever" list is, god help me, "Would you ever eat a person?" Um, so now we're talking about human meat.
Student1: No! Never! This is disgusting! Who write these list for you?
Me: Um, I just got it off of a website for ESL conversation classes.
Student2: I would. I had a friend in army who did this.
Me: What? Sorry, did you just say that you know someone who ate a person?
Student2: Yes, my friend in arrmy, when he was in Chechnia, he eat a person.
Me: Because he was really hungry, like you with the dog, and had no food?
Student2: He was in mountains for s weeks. He was in, what do you call it, special force? And they had prisoner.
Me: So they killed their POW and ate him because they had no food for three weeks? Jesus...
Student2: No no no no no! They not kill him. They keep him alive, cut meat from his thighs and grill them and then eat them. And he watch.
Me: ?????
What the fffffffffff...
Student1: (complete fucking silence. Won't even look at Student2.)
Student2: Well, they ver angry at the prisoner. So they want to hurt him, but also, they ver hungry.
Me: okay, that's, that's it for the day. I'll see you next week. A lot of food for thought there heh-heh. Thanks Boris. Very interesting today.
Yeah, real convo. Really happened. I love Russia.
