Yesterday was Gray, Today is Gray, and Tomorrow Will Also be Gray

But that's alright. I'm getting more into the swing of things here. I still don't understand exactly what it is that my job entails. I spend most of the day at work just sort of staring at my computer screen and taking cigarette/tea breaks once an hour. From what I can tell, my job will require me to show up at uber-boss's house next week in order to translate between him and a French writer, while they're having breakfast. Unexpected. Also, there's the 10 pages of translation that I'll be doing in some vague future, and the attempts to make contact with American publishing companies. Everyone at work is preparing for a book fair in Moscow (that I won't be going to this time, but will be going to next time). And no one seems to give a crap about what Polena is doing. Ah, just like being home at my old job.

I went to do my laundry yesterday. I don't think that any of the German dryers in this country actually work. I paid money for them, naively trusting that they'll do their jobs and actually dry shit, but after waiting for exactly 3 hours for my clothes to dry, I ended up taking it home, quite warm, but still basically wet. I had to hang it up in the rafters to dry.

Then I went to the theater. It wasn't interesting enough to describe here. I'm going to wait until something less mundane happens to post again. The only other thing is that I've managed to get in touch with someone that I used to know many years ago and haven't had any contact with in 10 years. And lo and behold, he's here in Russia, just like me. So that was a very pleasant surprise for me. That's all that's happened in Russia in the last few days.

Day 14 (Work and other Observations)

A few observations about my current surroundings:

--Finally saw the legendary and ever-elusive St. Petersburg sun today. It was yellow and warm and circular, just like I've always pictured it. I felt elated and happy for a moment, but then it disappeared behind and ugly brown building. I don't know when we'll be reunited again, or why it's avoiding me. Come back, sun!

--Ksusha the firm receptionist has been celebrating her 24th birthday for two solid days now. This consists of her sitting in the kitchen (instead of reception) the whole day with a bottle of vodka and two bottles of wine and a half-eaten Napolean cake. Other staff members (including the boss lady) join her periodically and stay in the kitchen for hours. The unforseen result of this of course is that no one is opening the door when someone rings our bell. Or answering the phones...
Also, everyone seems a bit not sober.
Non of the visitors have been able to get in because you can't hear the doorbell from the kitchen. Our own driver had to wait for 2 hours outside in order to gain entry.
Boss lady doesn't seem to mind.

--Everyone here is working on Russian-people-time. That means that even though the work day starts at 10 and ends at 6, most people come rambling into the office around 11 (holding their heads tightly and mumbling about bereborshil, i.e. overdid it), and end up walking out of here around 3 when they, as I heard one such employee say, "finally give up on having a sense of right and wrong". Apparently Ksusha the receptionist has been keeping careful track of these comings and goings, but the boss lady only jokingly suggested that employees start coming in on time. She doesn't seem to be serious, and no one here is taking her suggestions to heart.

--The guy that's been training me for two days now, proclaimed today that there's not much for me to do and I should just go home and read one of the books that I've been assigned to translate pieces of. It was 2 p.m. when this ocurred. I had to explain to him that I don't feel right collecting a salary while sitting at home and reading a book. (I do however feel perfectly fine collecting a salary while sitting at work and working on my own blog though.) I'm going to work with an american work-standard for at least another week...

Day 9 or 10 (Or the Day I went to my Job and Finally took the Subway)

People, today was a good day. But before I get into that, let me just say this. Blyad yobonaya v rot!!! What the fuck!!! The internet was down for two days again. Now the last time, it was explained away by some drunk plowing his car into a telephone line. This has significance over here because all the internets is still dial-up. Yes good people. Dial up. So how do they explain it this time? Have they just not fully fixed it from the last time (which wouldn't surprise me at all, because this is in fact what's called 'dealing with problems with Russian efficiency), or has another cracked-out drunken gopnik, plowed into yet another ill-placed telephone line on his way back to the whore house? The phone company is keeping it a secret this time. Either way, it's not as funny the second time around.

Anyway, back to how nice my day was. I think that I've finally stopped freaking out terribly, panic wise, so the blog won't be as funny anymore, because as one of my friends put it, other people's panic is comedy to everyone else. But that's ok. I can still be informative.

I went to check out my new job today, where I'll be starting on Monday. I'll be working completely under the table for $1500 a month. That's not very much money anywhere, but at least it's tax free. During my initial meeting with my new boss, she called in the dude that I'll be replacing to talk about how he plans to train me to do his job, which he's not even getting fired from, but rather moving to the editorial department. And do you know what this little predatel says? He says "well, there's really no work right now. There's nothing to do in that position at all for the rest of the year because we haven't released any new books in a while." Basically dear friends, this little bitch is trying to get me fired before I've even started. Because even though $1500 may not seem like much, over here, given the current CRISIS (oh yeah, I'm going to caplock that shit from now on in order to distinguish it from any number of crisis that I might go through myself) it's still an assload of salary. Thanks a lot Alex, you fucking asshole. Hope I do your job way better than you did and show you out as the little incompetent bitch that you is.

On a lighter note, I finally took the subway and it's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I had these nightmarish memories of being dragged down to one of the circles of Dante's inferno, on a super fast escalator that made my head spin. But actually it wasn't nearly as fast or as deep. (that's what she said).

Just a few more comments and we'll be all done.

1. Russian people love their tea. They also love to make everyone else drink their tea. If I see one more cup of tea, I'm going to learn whether it's actually possible to fit a tea saucer into a human anal cavity.

2. Russian women love high heels and have the magical ability to wear them out, no matter how craggly or fucked up the sidewalks are, and I'm going to have to learn to do this as well.

3.Never ever, ever, move back in with your Russian mother, in Russia. Even if she's not batshit crazy like mine is. No matter what, she is going to force you to wear that same uncomfortable outfit that you had to wear in Russia as a little girl in the winter time. The one that you could't move your arms or legs in very well. The one that scratched the shit out of your throat. Yeah... that one. And you're going to walk around like an asshole in that, while all the women around you that are not living with their moms, are dressed in pretty, high heels, tight pants, and little itty bitty jackets.

That's all for today folks, hope it wasn't too much.